Black Two Butler
by 4fireking
Summary: Ciel is a demon. In the aftermath of Sebastian's battle against Claude Faustus and Hannah's suicide, Ciel had to leave his life behind to stay with Sebastian's and the other demons. Now, in the twenty-first century, one boy, the ancestor of Ceil Phantomhi
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Black Butler

" Darkness Darkness develop me. It is only you whom I seek. I seek your audience. I seek your hand. And I seek your help getting back at the cahoots who deserted me. After all I've lent to them, where were they when I needed their help. Not-near-me. So come to me. Give me your hand. COME TO ME!"


	2. Chapter 2

" Darkness Darkness develop me. It is only you whom I seek. I seek your audience. I seek your hand. And I seek your help getting back at the cahoots who deserted me. After all I've lent to them, where were they when I needed their help. Not-near-me. So come to me. Give me your hand. COME TO ME!"

XXX

" It's time to wake up, master. We have a very busy day today. Busy, busy, busy. At five o' clock we have violin lessons. At five thirty we have piano lessons. Followed by two hours of studying. And at nine o'clock we have a meeting with Mr. Kichida at the Joy Rice fields."

" You're forgetting one thing, Emmitt."

" Oh? And what would that be, master?"

" School."

" Yes, school. I prepared your textbooks and lunch for today. Hmm. I see your collection of books has improved. **C. S. Lewis**, **E. E. Cummings**, **Edgar Allan Poe**, **Elizabeth Bishop**. What are the rest of these books for?"

" Research. I have to delve into the minds of these myxedema's. If I read things that make no sense than I'll be able to communicate with these cretins."

**Black Two Butler **

" How was school today, young master?" Ian walked out of the University of Science and walked into the black limo where his chauffer and butler Emmitt.

" Tedious," Ian replied. Emmitt opened the limousine black door for Ian as he walked inside the limo. Ian rubbed his chin with his right fist and an emotionless face.

Did you learn anything about your teacher, master?"

" Hmm? Oh, nothing much. Just that he's into infidelity."

" How so, master

I saw a wedding ring tan line in his fingers. Tan line means he takes it off from time to time. This morning he went to Rosa Avenue Coffee House."

" How did you know that, master?"

" Green stains on his pants. I'm guessing it's from chi tea latte. But the color of it is green mixed with blue. I remember that color when I stained my pants there. He's also trying to quit smoking."

" How did you know?"

" He can't seem to keep his eyes off the window where the students are smoking."

" How do you not know those are his friends, master?"

" That was my first thought. At least if you didn't see him admire his pockets. Inside there was either a pack of cigarettes or a cigarette liter. It's all very monotonous."

" What's the matter today, master?"

" The world. The universe. The human anatomy –and the conscience of it all."

" Let's not be a little mellow dramatic, master."

" When we get home I want vanilla parfait smothered in chocolate sauce with almonds."

" There's only so much to do in one day when you're a busy man, master. Busy, busy, busy. We still have that meeting today."

" I don't like this man."

" You wouldn't want him to think the Earl of PhantomHive is a snobby kid, do you?"

" No indeed."

XXX

Ian and Emmitt returned to the PhantomHive mansion. Ian stepped out of the black limousine, brown hair emerging first, walked up to the mansion, his home. It had a very Western influence to it. The first thing people would see entering his domicile was the huge staircase lined with expensive looking red carpet that had gold lining.

Emmitt handed Ian a doll wrapped in a black blanket. Ian had very delicate skin. Emmitt held a big umbrella over him even though it was not raining, white with black trimming.

" Did you read the newspaper today, Emmitt?" Ian said, he walked up the footsteps of his mansion and walked to the door.

" Of course, young master," Emmitt said.

" Of course you didn't. You were too busy ironing my tie and polishing my shoes. The closest you get to reading is my thesis. We've got ourselves a serial killer. Love those—there's always something to look forward too."

" Wait!"

Ian and Emmitt turned around. A young man with blond hair walked up to the mansion. His blond hair stuck out at the back, and his fringe covered the sides of his face. On his right eye was an eye patch, and his other eye was squinted. He wore a brown jacket and trousers with a red tie.

The man looked tired—probably had to run ten blocks away—he grabbed his chest and breathed.

" Who are you?"

The man paused for five maybe ten seconds before he spoke, " My name is Haru. Are you Ian of PhantomHive."

" I don't suppose you're a Jehovah Witness here to convert me to Christ. I prefer the religion of atheist."

" My master would like to know what you're doing here, Mr. Haru," Emmitt said.

" My name is Haru."

" Yes, we covered that," Ian said.

" I would like to work here at the PhantomHive mansion."

" Do you have any credentials. Resume? Maybe even a letter from your last employer?"

" No."

" Good. I hate that. They are all so tedious. Come inside and Emmitt will train you."

Ian opened the door to the Phantom Hive manor and walked inside. Haru made his way after Ian, but was stopped at the gap by Emmitt. Emmitt's eyes, irises, and crimson eyes glowed.

XXX

" Your name is Haru, yes? I'm looking up any entails of arrest you have. There is none. Why do you want to join my house?"

" This house looks very expensive. Who's that kid on the wall?"

" Kid? Oh, you must mean the nineteenth century Earl of the PhantomHive manor: Ciel PhantomHive. Do you like people with eye patches?"

" What? No, sir."

" Are you a politic, Haru?"

" No, sir."

" Good. I have no tolerance for politics at the PhantomHive manor. Cold Turkey is not allowed in this household. If you're going to smoke you will smoke at home or I'll spite you. Do you have a wife or children?"

" No, sir."

" Where are you currently residing?"

" I lived in Gloucestershire most of my life."

" Where are you living now?"

" In a motel."

" Will you be willing to live in a spare flat we keep downstairs? The beds are a little cold and the sheets are a little itchy; I must warn you that the heater turns on in that room and if you sleep walk you might step on some of my old toys."

" I don't care where I sleep as long as I don't have to pay for the bed."

" Carry this with you." Ian gave Haru a brown folder.

" What is it?"

" It's a daytime planner. In there is a list of your schedule, your chores, and contact information in case I'm choking. The people on these numbers will answer your calls immediately and walk your through faster than the hospital. We keep a medical kit on the top shelf of our bathroom cabinets and there's a list of my allergies."

" You keep this for everyone who wants to join your household?"

" No, Emmitt typed it up."

" I've only been here for five minutes."

" You've got the job."

" Don't I get a tour of the house?"

" Emmitt will lead you around. Your first task will be to shingle the roof."

XXX

Haru walked back into the mansion, soaking wet from working in the rain. Ian looked up from his studying and smiled mischievously. "Have fun?" Haru hopped on the sofa next to Ian.

Ian stared at him. " Excuse me."

" What?"

" You're getting the sofa all wet."

" So?"

Ian sighed. " Idiot."

" There you are," Emmitt said walking into the room. Unlike Haru his clothes were dry. " Are you ready to begin your butler training?"

" I just finished shingling the roof." Haru frowned. " Don't I get a half hour break?"

" There are no breaks in the PhantomHive manor, nor is there ever any time for fun. You'll learn how to be my apprentice butler step-by-step. But don't think making you my apprentice butler means you'll be my disciple."

" Psh, that's the last thing I would ever expect to be?"

XXX

" Your first lesson will be to carry trays. Trays are easier to carry when you hold them with one hand underneath. Don't think using two hands is more stable. When you carry drinks and one of them falls you can catch them with your other hand-holding it with one hand gives you balance and grace. Holding it with two hands and the glass falls...the whole tray of glasses will fall on the ground. Go!"

Haru ran up the stairs with a tray of lemonade glasses in his hands. Haru had two minutes to get the tray upstairs, turn right into the hall, carry the tray into the masters' room, and serve the glass to his master. He turned the corner and walked into the master's room...Emmitt tripped him. Haru fell and his tray and glasses fell.

" You could have slipped on a rug. Better be more careful."

" ...Will do..."

XXX

" Your second lesson of being a PhantomHive butler: answering the phone. An easy job, right? Wrong. When someone is calling the first thing you need to do is be aware of the master's schedule. Don't tell them to wait on hold because the people who are calling don't like to be told that. Carry it to the master. You have one minute and thirty seconds before they hang up."

" Can't they just leave a voice message?" Haru asked.

" The master never listens to his voice messages. He doesn't like to listen to their crass language." Emmitt took a phone out of his trousers and dialed numbers into them. A phone ran in the kitchen. " It's for the master. Go get it."

Haru dashed away from Emmitt and ran into the kitchen. He grabbed the phone off the wall and ran up the stairs. Haru turned to the right and something dark jumped up and went into Haru's face! Haru was blind. Something black was covering his face and getting into his eyes.

" Watch out for Mittens." Emmitt pulled the black cat Mittens off his face. " I'm afraid you failed this part of being a butler."

" It's tough. You make it sound so easy."

" The key to being a good butler is finding the right viola." Emmitt raised hi right hand up. On his wrist was a digital watch. " Still so much to do. Not a good time for training. Let's talk while I prepare tonight's dinner for our esteemed guest."

XXX

" Tonight we will be cooking chowder. To cook the chowder we'll scrub each clam's shell with a vegetable brush. It's best under running water. Then we'll pour the clams into a colander."

Cooking wasn't Haru's forte. He was used to having other people cook for him. Emmitt had to show him step by step how to make the chowder. As they prepared the chowder Haru talked to Emmitt.

" So how long have you been a butler for the Phantomhive manor?"

" Since the master's parents passed away," Emmitt replied. " The master just finished middle school and was on his way to high school. Young master graduated at the age of only eleven."

" Holy crap! He graduated high school at eleven years old? That's pretty awesome."

" All heir's of PhantomHive achieved much at young ages. Did you know that his ancestor Ciel of PhantomHive owned a toy factory at the age of thirteen? It was the Poseidon Company's Indian Factory Funtom Company. But the man who ran the toy factory, Damian, was a scam artist and a conniving man. I hear he was playing a harrowing game with the master and later the same things happened to him. People looked him up as a lunatic. He said ghostly faces, twisting legs, and a butler from Hell almost killed him."

" That's quite some story. Say, since we're going to be working together why don't we try to start up a conversation? Are you married, Emmitt?"

" No."

" Me too. I never married. I guess I just haven't found the right woman yet. I always liked Indian chicks. I like those little red dots on their foreheads. My favorite Indian chick was Apu's wife from The Simpsons. What kind of women do you like?"

" I have no interest in women."

" Oh, I get it. You like boys, don't you, Emmitt?"

" I will sell my body to anyone if it will help the master succeed—the price I will pay is anywhere from a hand to my body I will allow the PhantomHive name to flourish."

" You kinda sound like a prostitute, Emmitt. What about amusement. What do you do for fun?"

" I don't believe in having any luxuries. My life is only for keeping the well-being of my master safe."

" Come on. You've got to do something for fun. You're still young, aren't you?"

XXX

Ian heard the doorbell ring. He closed his book and walked to the door. Ian was so short he pulled up a chair to look through the peephole. Kichida of the Rice Fields was outside.

Kichida is a tall man with short ear-length shaggy black hair and a mole near the left side of his mouth. Caucasian, his skin was cream-colored, a bright pink and almost resembled a woman's. His eyes were dark brown, looked like wood from trees.

He wears large sunglasses that completely veil his eyes. He dresses in a long, double-breasted, button down trench with a medallion attached over the left breast, lace-up knee-high boats, black gloves, and a white belt cinched at the waist; attached to the belt, on his left hip, is a holster with a gun.

" You've gotten fat," Ian said. " And I thought rice was supposed to be very healthy."

" I gained a little weight because I'm a daddy," Kichida said. " When you have children of your own, Ian, you'll know how it is."

" Enough of this yammering. Did you bring the product?"

Kichida reached into his trench and pulled a bag with a white powder inside it. Kichida tossed the zip-lock bag to Ian, and then he walked into the door and closed it shut.

" I'm being followed. People on the street know that I have this, and they will kill me. You have to hide me."

Ian knew something like this would happen when Kichida showed up. The man was an utter idiot. He was like a baby who never knew what to do. Ian touched the back of his head and spoke in a firm but small voice.

" Emmitt, I order you to kill anyone who walks into my home."

XXX

Outside, three men reached the PhantomHive manor. " Are you sure this is the place, Daikou?" One of them says. He is wearing long black pants and a long grey jacket. His hair is blond, in a short ponytail, with several bangs.

" I looked up info, Noburo …" Another said. " This is the place, alright…" This man, known as Daikou, has tall red spiky hair. He was dressed in dark brown pants, a white t-shirt, brown boots, and a red jacket.

" Can we just be diplomatic about this?"

" What's there to be diplomatic about? The master of this house is just a kid. I bet he'll shit his breaches when he sees us come in."

Haru had Noburo and Daikou at gunpoint. Haku, raising the missile launcher, raised an eyebrow. " Hey!" Haru growled, threateningly put his finger on the trigger. " We don't want you riff-raff around here! Go back to your psycho boss!"

Suddenly, a playing card hit his missile launcher at an inhuman speed, damaging and disabling it. "Wha?-"

Noboru smirked, holding another card. "I'm… quick with my hands…"

The three men snuck into the house. " There's gotta be something of value in this place," Daikou said. He snuck into one room, looking around. His eyes caught sight of a drawer with a lock on it. " Eh heh…" He ran over to the drawer. " Another challenge for my lock picking skills." He reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a thin piece of metal. He stuck it inside the lock, turning it around several times until he heard a loud satisfying click. He opened the drawer and began rummaging through the many unorganized papers.

" Uninvited guest." Noboru cocked his left hand and punched the person behind him. But his fist was caught by a white gloved hand. That hand was Emmitt's. Noboru quivered as he looked into those red crimson eyes. " I'm afraid I'm going to ask you to leave."

Emmitt effortlessly raised Noboru over his head and threw him towards the wall. He crashed through the plaster, and fell on the ground. He broke every joint in his body.

One of his men carrying an AK-47 appeared.

" He's in there! He's in there!"

The man walked up to the broken plaster and fired his gun through the hole. Suddenly five sharp knives were thrown at his stomach. The man fell back, firing from his gun, and fell to the ground. Blood from his wounds trickled out and covered his face.

Like a corpse rising from the ground, Emmitt of PhantomHive emerged from the hole. His chest was filled with bullet holes. Emmitt picked his hands through the hole and picked a bullet out.

" No…You should be dead. He killed you! He killed you, bastard!"

" Silly man."

Emmitt took out a piece of silverware from his butler vest. The silverware was a knife. He raised the knife over him about to stab it into him.

" Wait!" Noboru shouted. " If you let me go I'll show you where I keep my money!"

" What would I possibly need money for?" Emmitt stabbed the knife into the man's head. He twisted the knife, killing Noborou. " Ever piece of money I get I fed to someone else."


	3. Chapter 3

" Shut up," Ian said.

" I didn't say anything," Kichida said.

" You were thinking. It's annoying."

" So what's new with you, Ian?"

" Last week a woman gave me a case of her husband sentenced to death in Florida. I was able to help her out."

" So you stopped her husband from being executed?"

" Oh no, I ensured it."

" I see you've kept this place quiet."

" I like the stillness. It reminds me of being in the movie Gravity."

" What am I doing here?"

" Helping me make a point."

" I'm supposed to make you put money on the production of our rice farm."

" this is more fun."

" Fun? There's men after me."

" Perfectly sound analysis but I was hoping you'd go deeper."

" On an unrelated tactic: have you managed to find new friends, Ian?"

" Yes. I use to enjoy reading about the theories of Leonardo da Vinci and Albert Einstein but now I'm more interested in the works of Steve Jobs after reading his biography."

" I mean people who you've actually met?"

" Oh? No I haven't."

**Black Two Butler **

Haru outside was trying to shot Daikou. Killing Daikou was hard. Haru switched his weapon to a British Whitworth rifle. Haru fired his bullets at Daikou, a dead-eye shot to his head each time, but every time Daikou went _whoosh _with his card in his hand and he blocked the gun shot.

" _It normally should be impossible to stop a bullet with a card…the bullet should go through the card and hit its target. He's moving the card so fast, it's almost like he's wavering a steel sheet." _

Haru heard the roar of engines making their way towards the PhantomHive manor. He turned left; two more limousines were driving their way. The limo's stopped as three men with big guns from each of the limos stepped out and marched towards the mansion.

" Aww…fuck this."

Haru ran away from his sniper position and ran towards the door to the marble stairs. He didn't want to risk losing having his head blown off by those heavy-armed gentlemen.

" Daikou," one of the men of the group walked up to Daikou. " We heard your distress call. Where's Noboru?"

" Inside," Daikou replied. " You know Noboru, he likes to pick locks. Now let's get in there and kill that kid."

The seven men marched to the front door. Two men were the first ones to kick through the door...two knives were thrown in their heads. The two men fell backwards, sliding down the steps, dead.

All four of the men with guns, and Daikou, freeze at the sudden, inexplicable sound of shoes crunching on gravel. They turn slowly. Their jaws drop. Standing at the top of the roof, bathed in sunlight, is a black apparition. It does not move.

Daikou stands rooted to the spot, a choked gurgle in his throat, as if he's seen his own death. The black figure advances, spreading its arms.

One man groped for his gun, brings it up, and still the black figure draws closer. The man fires twice. Two clean shots. The strange black figure stopped fluttering and plummet to the grass.

" I'm getting outta here," a thug said.

Daikou saw the black figure back on its feet, nightmarish, undead, moving slowly and inevitably closer. Panic—sheer, raw, unrelenting panic in every one's face except Daikou.

The figure scuttle around the periphery of the lawn, his feet skidding on the grass, as he moved up to one of the thugs and roundhouse kicked him on his right side.

A thug fired wildly. The thug is frozen in place, his eyes glazed over, his face drained of blood. The black figure treads calmly past. A leg snakes out. A black boot catches the thug high on the chest.

The last two thugs fired at the figure. The figure vanished before contact and appeared on the right and left side of the thugs, throwing forks at their hands. They were disarmed, forks impaled in their hands. The figure jumped over the two men and kicked them thoroughly in their faces.

All six men were down. Only Daikou was still standing. He was resilient. That figure who attacked his men was the PhantomHive butler Emmitt. Emmitt pulled a knife out of his glove and threw it at Daikou. He blocked it. With a swish of his hand he deflected the knife with his cards.

" You're actually pretty strong," Emmitt smiled, " for a human."

" I'm very quick with my hands," Daikou smiled. " You may of taken out those guys, but they can't hold a teacup compared to my skills. You can't stop me, Mr. Butler."

" I'm no ordinary butler. I'm a butler with perdition, a butler in everlasting punishment in hell that sinners endure after death."

XXX

Kichida followed Ian through a double door into a spacious room. Faint sunlight filters through the large windows. There was a red masonry, a couple of chairs, and a grand piano in the corner. Ian hesitated, then limped to the piano while trudging his cane, puts down the cane as he turns and drags one of the chairs over and sits.

Kichida stands and watches.

Ian glanced surreptitiously at his hands, and then he started to play Chopin. Kichida listened, expressionless. Somewhere, a cat mews. Distant burst of rifle fire. Kichida walked over to the window and saw Emmitt roundhouse kicking a man with a gun.

"Look at them – bastards!"

Ian narrowed his eyes to the window. He continued playing his piano." Anyone stupid enough to step into PhantomHive without my consent or tries to take over PhantomHive gets what he deserves."

XXX

Daikou was an unrivaled master in the usage of cards as edge weapons. He throws them with ease and deadly accuracy. Daikou threw two poker cards at Emmitt. Emmitt used his teeth to gnaw off his white gloves, and blew them up like a balloon before he smacked them into the card. Then he used his teeth to pull the glove back on his hands.

Daikou picked up an AK-47 from his fallen comrade. He pulled out the cartridges from the gun and dropped the bullets in his hands. Using his quick hands he lobbed the bullets faster than the guns could shot. Emmitt covered his face with his fingers. The bullets were stuck between his hands.

" You might be needing this back," Emmitt said, a heartwarming smile on his pale skin.

Emmitt threw the bullets towards Daikou with one swish of his hand. Daikou quickly reached his hands out and caught the bullets in the air. Emmitt was surprised. The bullets rolled out of Daikou's hands and fell on the ground. Emmitt covered his forehead with his hands to get rid of his stress.

" You're not making my job easy…should I kill you or should I make you a member of the PhantomHive house?"

" Don't worry," Daikou said. " I'm giving you a third choice. You die."

Daikou jumped back, tree standing firm behind him, he jumped up and pulled the branch off the tree. Daikou took out a bayonet out from his pockets and peeled off the circle part of the branch until it became a spear.

Daikou threw the spear at Emmitt. It was zooming towards Emmitt faster than a hornet about to sting someone, but Emmitt clapped his hands over the tip of the spear. It stopped, and Emmitt kicked the spear over the master's hedge like a soccer ball.

" You have great skills…It's a shame you don't have any control. If you joined the PhantomHive manor not only will you learn how to control better, you will learn techniques the mob doesn't teach you."

" Like cleaning dishes and sweeping floors, Mr. Butler?" Daikou retorted. " Sorry but I'm not interested in being someone's servant like you. That's not me. The real me is the person who will burn down this house and form a contract with one of you, demon."

" You know I'm a demon?"

" That's right. You have the same pheromones a demon has. Why him? Why PhantomHive? Why now?"

" Ian PhantomHive is everything a Lord should be and yet so innocent at the same time. He is demanding, yet gentle, brilliant, yet naïve, yet ancient in mind. Young Lord PhantomHive is perfect in every way to a demon. I want to possess every part of him. The last PhantomHive was a cruel twist of fate. Little Ciel became a demon denying his black butler the soul he so craved. That soul had molded and shaped into the perfect tender morsel. The beauty of my master's soul is…his is already half human and half demon; his soul is the most divine thing any demon will eve r have."

Daikou pulled his bayonet back and threw it at Emmitt. Daikou's bayonet went right through Emmitt's head!

Emmitt fell. Emmitt fell on the masters' perfectly trimmed lawn. Blood trickled from the open wound in Emmitt's head and dripped to ground. Daikou made loutish gestures as he walked up to Emmitt, his feet stomping on Emmitt's face, leaving a dirt foot print on his head

" Don't think I don't know your trickery, demon. You demons can't die so easily. The only way to kill you is to chop off your head." Daikou pulled out a string of rope from his vest. He made a noose on Emmitt's neck with the other end on the handle of the bayonet. " If you stand up, demon, then this knife will go into your neck. I'm going to cut your head off, demon. I'm going to leave lacerations on your pretty little face, and make you bleed from your pores. You demons are filth. You and your kind will all die."

Tears cascaded down Daikou's cheeks. Painful memories flooded his mind. He was only a boy of four when it happened.

Daikou felt sharp pain in his right elbow. A bullet shot out from somewhere above and grazed him. Daikou grabbed his arm as blood ran down his arm.

Above Daikou was Haru. Haru left Daikou when he called in his reinforcements, but he returned with a live action rifle. Haru fired that rifle at Daikou and it went through his arm.

" Stay away from my head butler!"

Daikou raised his head up to Haru. He gritted his teeth and moaned at the sting of the bullet in his arm. Daikou quickly grabbed the bullet in his hand and pulled it out.

"You're not a demon," said Daikou looking linger at his bullet hole in his arm. " Why are you protecting this demon. You think demons have any sympathy for people who save them? No matter who you are you're all just sustenance for them."

Haru didn't listen to Daikou. He took out the bullet from his rifle and stuck a new bullet in there. "From where I'm looking, you're standing right in front of me."

Haru fired. The bullet zoomed towards Daikou. Daikou quickly moved his hands and caught the bullet in his fingers.

" There's nothing you do that can surprise me," Daikou smirked.

" That's ditto for me."

Daikou was roundhouse kicked on the side of his face by Emmitt. Daikou rubbed his cheek. Daikou couldn't understand how Emmitt managed to escape his trap. The demon butler pat his sleeves, pulled on the sleeves of his vest, and straightened his collar so he looked well groomed.

" If I can't escape a simple trap…what kind of butler would I be?"

" I'm going to kill you, demon!"

Daikou punched Emmitt in his face. But Emmitt caught his fist. Daikou was so enraged his tendons were visibly shown on his forehead. Emmitt was toying with Daikou.

" Watch your step."

Emmitt pushed Daikou to the ground. The tendon in his face no longer showed. He was still angry. Daikou tried to reach into his pockets to pull out another poker card, his weapon, but before he could pull it out Emmitt stomped on his hands with his black shoes.

" Kill me…" Daikou struggled to break free, but Emmitt's foot were too strong. " Kill me…" Daikou had a cyanide pill implanted in his right tooth. Once he crushed his teeth on the tooth he would be dead and all his problems would be solved. " Kill me…"

Daikou crunched his teeth together. Nothing. He did exactly as his master instructed but nothing happened. Daikou stared at Emmitt, pressed in his hands was the cyanide pill. Emmitt shook the pill and smiled maliciously at Emmitt.

" You're not the only one with fast hands."

" Why don't you just let me die?"

" I don't like to kill people I think have potential. So I'll let you leave with your head. Come back when you get stronger. The next time I see you…you will be a tomb in the master's family garden."

XXX

It was time for Kichida to leave the Phantomhive manor. Ian helped him to the door, fastened his coat, opened the door for him, and waved good-bye.

Outside Emmitt and Haru were saying their farewells to Kichida. They both placed one hand on their right shoulders and bowed to Kichida. Kichida walked past them as he opened the door to his limo. The limo drove down the street and he was gone.

XXX

It was the masters' bath time. The master took a bath every night before going to bed. The master didn't like showers. They were too fast and always scalding hot for him, Ian liked cold things and liked to think of every scenario before reaching a conclusion. Ian also had a fear of being alone. He ordered Emmitt to clean his back while he played with his rubber duck—kiddy, he knew, but his rubber duck had a skull painted on its face, Ian's friend.

Emmitt liked to look at the many scars on his masters back. Each one were so elegantly made. Emmitt rubbed his fingers over Ian's soft skin, his fingers pinching the skin affectionately, and it made Emmitt wonder what things would be like if he had such beautiful skin like Ian.

" Tomorrow I want to have peameal bacon, sunny side up eggs, with sausages," Ian said as Emmitt washed his back. " Remember to use a napkin to rub off the grease from the sausages. And use real potatoes with them. I'm thinking of looking at a case tomorrow. All this time in the house is tedious. I must be in the open where I can breathe."

" It shall be done, my lord."

XXX

Ian needed help to put on his pajamas. His pajamas was a silk shirt large enough to cover his legs as well. Ian ordered Emmitt to button his shirt for him, and Ian teased Emmitt by opening one button that Emmitt already finished.

Ian slept in a queen sized bed. Nestled in his bed were three cats. All three were black. Most believed that black cats were bad luck, but on contraire, Ian believed these cats gave him good luck. Emmitt turned off the lights in Ian's room; a candle glowed dimly in the shrouded darkness.

" Wait…Don't leave my side until I've fallen asleep." Ian said with his eyes closed.

" Do I sense a hint of unpleasantness?" Emmitt said with that evil smirk on his face.

" Just do as I order. You're my butler. You will do what I say."

" Yes, master."

Emmitt walked up to Ian and touched his small human hands. It was just as he hoped. Ian's hands were as soft as his back. Emmitt warmed gingerly to the warmness of humans. They never know how lucky they are to feel _body heat _until it is all gone.

XXX

Ian was asleep, Haru was asleep, the only things still awake other than Emmitt were the nocturnal cats whom were hyperactive at night. Emmitt strolled through the halls of the Phantomhive manor. He stopped. In front of him was the portrait of Phantomhive's predecessor: Ciel Phantomhive.

Emmitt saw Ciel as a kid, sitting in the ballroom of the manor, with the former lords' parents, the other former lords of Phantomhive, sitting down with him. Vincent Phantomhive and Rachel Phantomhivewere remembered for their gentleness and kindness. Ciel was remembered for his bright smile and young age. Emmitt wondered, when his lords' death came…what would he be remembered for?

Emmitt blew out the candle. Darkness, no one could see anything, but the one thing someone would see is a butler working in the dark. Sleep was a luxury Emmitt didn't want; he was going to clean the house but leave work for Haru the next morning.


	4. Chapter 4

" I-I don't understand, master. Could you repeat it?"

" I said I was leaving for an errand with Emmitt and I'm leaving Phantomhive in your hands."

" But I'm—I just started working here yesterday. Can't you hire someone else to help you with your errands?"

" Emmitt is my loyal butler. I don't leave this house without him. I would normally just lock the door and how no one gets in. But now that I have more servants, more amino acid in my blood, I'm letting you show me what you can do."

" Are you—you sure you don't to stay here and order Emmitt to do your errands? He is your butler after all."

" Emmitt's duties is to serve me. How can he serve me if I'm not _there _to be served? I hope it wasn't presumptuous of me to assume you could take care of this house? Ugh. I can't stand the loftiness of idiots. Being around them gives me migraines; perhaps I should fire you to rid me of your stupidity."

" No! I need this job. " Haru hastily bowed to Ian and Emmitt. A small sadistic smile spread on Ian's face. Like Sebastian Michaelis, Ian liked to see people not as glimmering brilliant as him in pain. " I will do it, master. I will protect the Phantomhive manor."

" That's what I like to hear. It says in the bible, ' the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few'. If you can keep this manor from falling to the ground I will reward you handsomely. Toodle-loo."

Ian opened the front door. Before he stepped outside Emmitt opened an umbrella to shield his delicate skin from the harsh sunlight. Ian took four steps out the door, stopped. Emmitt stopped him with a white gloved hand against Ian's chest.

" Young master, I hope I'm not disparaging you, my lord, but I don't think it says in the bible ' the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. I think that was a quote from Star Trek the Wrath of Khan."

" I know. Haru is a doctor, a soldier, and a butler. I doubt he has the time to remember classics."

Haru looked at the time going by in the watch above his head. Haru was overwhelmed. He was given an important task and there was no way he could fulfill it. Without his army weapons he was as useful as an elephant in a birdbath—and no, he was not speaking metaphorically. Haru once saw an elephant so little it could fit in a bird bath. Haru looked at the stairs, the ballroom, whatever he could find.

" I didn't notice it before, but this is a very big house. I wonder where the bathroom is."

**Black Two Butler **

" Now here's a visitor who brings back pleasant memories. Is that really you, Emmitt?"

" It has been a long time, Azalea."

" It has been years since you've honored us with your presence. It has been so long, I thought you'd lost interest in houses of pleasure. "

" You weren't wrong about that. My eyes have been opened to the Phantomhive manor, and I took up the black suit of being a butler. "

" We give ourselves voices with which to sing our praises, hands to build our temples and desire to honor them through our lovemaking. "

" You haven't changed, Azalea. But I have."

" We're looking for a girl who works here. Her name is Dahlia. Is she one of the girls in this house?" Ian asked.

" Well aren't you a little young to be working here. And what would you know about the girls who work here?"

" I know you name them flowers to falsify their purity when all they all are is prostitute s. "

" Where is Dahlia?" Emmitt asked. " Or rather, who is she?"

Dahlia is one of my most enchanting girls, and she is well educated. She will be just impertinent enough to please you, my dear Emmitt. Do go upstairs. Her room is at the end of the corridor on the left. She has been rather sad as of late. Perhaps you will succeed in comforting her?"

" We'll see what we can do."

XXX

" Jeffrey, you are not the father."

Haru watched a dark-skinned man jump on the couch and wave his arms up and down. It was the stupidest thing Haru ever saw, so he changed the channel. Now he was watching Pokémon. Haru watched the yellow mouse with the red cheeks, Pikachu, jump up and do a little peace sign with his fingers. Haru changed the channel.

" I love him, professor." A blond haired English girl with a pink shirt and a green scarf said. " And that's the honest truth. But he likes someone else. No matter what I do he'll never look at me like he looks at her."

" No!" Haru screamed. His eyes were swollen with tears. " If you love him then you shouldn't give up on him!"

But Haru was paralysed with fear. A little mouse crawled up the television set. Haru was scared of that little mouse. If Master Ian and Emmitt came home and saw this mouse they'd surely fire him. What did Haru do? He slowly stood upright, moved stealthily to the mouse like a ferocious tiger, the thought of killing it etched on his head. Haru smacked the mouse, only he missed. The mouse leaped off. Haru then chased the mouse around the room. Haru took off his shoes and threw them at the mouse, but it moved away from the shoes and into the kitchen.

XXX

Emmitt was accustomed to Azalea's brothel. A man was never loved here nor would he be safe. This house was infested with prostitutes. The women weren't forced to be here. They came at their own accord. Some of them were married, but their husbands were too busy with work and couldn't fill their lusts.

Ian and Emmitt stopped at the door with the letter 20 written on it. Ian was afraid of germs. Men have taken their trousers off and touched these doorknobs. Ian took a white napkin from his trousers, sprayed disinfectant spray over the door knob, and opened the door. Ian covered his nose. It stunk in this room. It smelled like sweat and B.O. Ian found Dahlia. A young woman of a beautiful appearance. She has long silver-white hair that she held in a thin ponytail by a red ribbon with an ahoge and she has ruby-red eyes. She was a stunning sight to behold.

" Are you Ms. Dahlia?" Ian asked.

" Yes. And who are you you are a little young to be here," she said.

" My name is Ian Phantomhive. I received a letter requested by you."

" You are Ian Phantomhive? Forgive me if I'm a little skeptical, but I expected someone with your reputation to be a little…older. How do I know what I've heard about you is legit?"

" I don't know. Maybe your husband knows about me."

" Husband?"

" You have a wedding ring in that closet where you keep your knickers. Do you love him or is it just because he's rich you married him? "

" How did you…"

" You have a book left on your desk. 'How To Live On A Budget.' I say you are latching onto him for your next meal ticket. Did you enjoy your breakfast—no, the coffee was too hot and your eggs were terrible."

" How did you…"

" I can see a little smudge on your navels. There's coffee stains on your modern clothes as well. As for your breakfast, well, there's a little yolk on your right cheek. You r cheeks are red from the cream on your face. The cream must be for an allergy or dry skin, whatever it's for it got mixed with your eggs and that's why you won't wipe it off your face. Maybe it's mascara. I wouldn't know what it looks like because I'm a boy."

" Okay…you are the real Ian Phantomhive. And who is this man behind you?"

Emmitt placed his left hand on his vest and bowed to the prostitute. " I am Emmitt Hernandez. I am a humble butler. I am an inquisitive butler. And I am a pristine butler. I am a one of a kind butler."

" You wrote a letter saying some ones been stalking you?"

" Yes. But it wasn't me being stalked. It was my friend, Darcy. She was too scared to go to the police so I went to my sponsor. His name is Dwayne Donald. He said you could help me. My friend Darcy, she was murdered."

You would think that a client being murdered before Ian had a chance to speak to them was something new? This wasn't the first time Ian received a letter from a friend who wanted to help their friends—or daughters or sons—without meeting them. The first time it was a British Army commander who lived in seclusion, having received death threats and media scrutiny after losing a unit of new soldiers in Afghanistan. When he called them on the phone he seemed inebriated from a stag party or some sort of drinking party. Ian decided to visit him, only to find media surrounding that man's house. And when he saw the body the words " YOU MURDERING BASTARD!" was written over his walls.

" Murdered?" Ian simply replied.

" Uh-huh. She was at a dance party. It was just a masquerade party she and her other rich friends hold every month to celebrate their—"

" Let me guess," Ian said, "their opulent life?"

" Yes. I wasn't there of course, but another friend of Darcy recorded the whole thing. She said Darcy wanted to step out of the ballroom to feel the cold air against her skin. Everyone heard her scream."

" Did she bellow or did she holler?" Emmitt asked.

" She screamed. She recorded people snoggling and her scream was in the video."

" Snoggling?" Ian said.

" Kissing, young master," Emmitt said.

" Everyone rushed to where she was….it was too late….she was already dead. Her murderer, maybe also his raper, was there. He hacked Darcy's arms and legs off with an axe."

" I don't understand. If you already know who the killer is why the devil do you need me?"

" Come take a look. They confiscated her phone when they heard she had as evidence, but she emailed the video to me before it was taken."

Dahlia walked into her closet where she kept her casual clothes when she decided to leave the brothel and went out with clients, wanted a cup of tea, or needed a new book. Dahlia took a laptop out of the closet and placed it down on table. Dahlia brought them to a page with a video showing.

" There's something you must know about Darcy before I show you this video," Dahlia said, a single tear was brought to her eyes. " In school she was just a regular student. She liked learning. She had this ravenous appetite of constant learn new things, experience new ideas, and she feed off the ratiocinations and philosophies of others. Everyone liked her. She did not deserve this."

Ian wondered why Dahlia was telling him this. This wasn't one of those good-girl-gone-bad cliché. She was just a good girl, who got good grades, had good friends, and had a good life. Nothing special about her. Just an average woman.

The video finally played. Apparently it was one of those horror movies everyone starts out laughing. Ian went through all kinds of ballroom dances which involved people changing partners as they danced. After dancing everyone sat down and ate cake. The high-class people acted like single high school kids. One of them threw their piece of cake in the others face; he got him back throwing his piece of cake at his face. Ciel found all this to be tedious and a waste of his time. If she played a video she should get straight to the important parts—this was a part of history doesn't mean it has to be boring. Finally, Ian got to the point two people took sips of wine from chalice's and pressed their lips together. Ian now understood snoggling.

" AHHHCCCHHH!"

Ian couldn't believe a scream of that magnitude could come from a shy college student. But Ian knew people showed their true colors when they were certain they were going to die. Everyone rushed to the gazebo. That's when Ian saw who killed Darcy. His axe dripped with blood, his coat was covered in blood, and…his face was masked by a rabbit mask. The man dropped his axe and jumped into the bushes.

The video ended

" So this is the thing that killed your friend," Ian said rubbing his chin.

" What do you think? Do you think you can find him?"

" What do I think? I don't know if I have a case. If he wears a mask it could implement he was trying to hide his face or was brought up by some childhood trauma and wears a mask to cover for it."

" What my lord is trying to say is this is more a matter for the police," Emmitt said placing a hand on his right shoulder and bowing to Dahlia. " Unless you have more substantial evidence we can work with."

" There is one more thing." Dahlia gave a photo to Ian. Ian studied the photo of an axe with blood smeared over it. " The police also confiscated the axe, but a friend of Darcy's took a picture of it and gave it to me."

" Why?" Ian said staring intently at the photo.

" Darcy had a lot of friends, but they were mostly my friends. I wasn't always one of the doxies. I studied hard, tried my best in school, and always did what I was told. But my family didn't have the luxury of wealth that Darcy's family had, hence the reason why I started working here. If you do this case I will pay you back one way or another?"

" What would I need your money for? I already have more than I can count. Why I do these cases, well, I like things to be on the same intellectual level as me. Give me one day. I'll take this photo back to my manor and analyze it there."

" Thank you, Ian Phantomhive."

XXX

On the ride home Ian asked Emmitt to stop at a mask shop. Emmitt asked " why, young master?" Ian retorted by saying " There's just something I want to look at." Ian was gone in there for a good thirty minutes until he came out with a brown grease-stained bag.

" What's in the bag, young master?" Emmitt asked.

" None of your business," Ian replied. " Just take me home so I can closely examine this picture."

It was taboo for Emmitt to ask Ian another question. His role was to only follow his masters' orders. Emmitt pressed his leg on the pedal and drove home. But Emmitt held his tongue until they were aboard the Brierley connection from Phantomhive manor, then he had to ask.

" Ian?"

Ian looked up from the grease of his bag he was so fixated on.

" Yes?"

" The man in the video. He seemed to be a strong man, a little skittish on one side, but he was able to jump higher than any

"Enhancers. I've seen people use bio-mechanics to increase their strength and speed. With today's technology people can do anything."

" I don't know. He might've been a demon, like me. What's your argument for that?"

" Demons don't wear masks. They don't fear killing people and being caught. Because they know there is nothing for them to fear."

Emmitt nodded appreciatively. Always two steps ahead , that was Master Ian. People said he was a chip off the old block. They were wrong. Master Ian was a brand new block, the likes of which had never been seen before.

Doubts assuaged, Emmitt returned to his drive towards the manor, leaving his employer to unravel the greatest mystery the likes of which no one's ever seen.

When they opened the door Ian was dumbfounded. Furniture was destroyed. He was stepping on the debris of his old table. Wires and coils were hanging from the ceiling. There were even gun shots through the walls.

" What?" Ian said.

Ian saw Haru, crawling on the floor looking for something. He looked like a lunatic. A mouse soon came out of the next room and crawled towards Ian and Emmitt. The mouse went through the open door and into the outside.

" He's gone!" Haru stood upright and cheered. Ian sighed. " The mouse is finally gone! Yippee!"

" _Why did I hire this idiot_?"

Ian walked up the stairs, in his manor, the picture in his hand. He walked with an uncaring, slow swagger. Emmitt knew young master wouldn't want someone to disturb him. Ian gets to the top of the stairs and heads over to his darkroom.

Downstairs, Emmitt is giving Haru a good talking to about the mess he caused.

" Let me get this straight. You destroyed this entire manor because you saw a mouse?"

" Yes, a big mouse. It might have even been a rat."

" You're a fool. And you're going to clean this entire house with a broom and dustpan."

" B-But I can't do this by myself."

" Too bad. You should have thought about that before you made this mess. I expect you not to sleep until it's all repaired."

" We'll worry about that later."

Ian walked down the stairs. He was holding the picture in his right hand. Ian walked between Haru and Emmitt; he walked to the front door and opened it.

" Well? Are you two coming?" Ian said.

" Where?" Haru asked.

" To the Axe 'N' Gun store. It's where our killer bought his axe. I want to have a little talk with the owner."

XXX

Ian hated walking into the stores. Everyone kept calling him short or mistook Emmitt for his father rather than his butler. Ian tried drinking milk everyday but it still didn't make him grow any faster.

The man behind the counter was a commoner. He was of the African origins, dark-skinned, wearing USA blue shirt with grey jeans and a golden chain around his neck.

" Can I help you?" The man asked Ian. It wasn't every day that a kid would walk into his store.

" I would like to look at your register. I would like to know how many people bought axes from you."

" Sorry, kid, but I can't give that information like that to all my clients—"

Emmitt leapt towards the man behind the counter and kicked him in the face. The man's head fell on the counter.

" Ah! You killed him!" Haru screamed looking at the blood spilling through his face.

" Don't be ridiculous." Ian picked up the register and looked through it. Unable to find the name he picked the register up and walked out the door. "Emmitt, pay the man."

Haru didn't know what he was getting into. All he wanted was to start a new life. Now, he was going back to the limo to God-knows-where-next.

XXX

The next day Ian and Emmitt returned to the brothel. Haru tagged along. After what he did to the manor Ian wasn't going to leave him by himself. Haru looked like he never been here before. When a woman in the brothel walked up to him he blushed.

" Should we take him with us?" Emmitt whispered in Ian's left ear.

" No. Leave him. He'll only slow us down," Ian said.

Ian and Emmitt walked upstairs to Dahlia's room. Dahlia was sitting in her bed reading a _Guns & Ammo. _That was until Ian and Emmitt walked into her room.

" Ian," she said. " Did you find anything?"

" I know more but it isn't much. I can't be sure who it is. That's why I need your help."

" My help? How do you need my help?"

" I believe Darcy wasn't the only target. Are there any more of your friends?"

" Yes. But I haven't heard from them in years."

" Isn't there anyway for you to meet with them?"

" Well, they go to the same ballroom Darcy goes to. But I've never been invited. I'm just a prostitute."

" Maybe you of the purlieu cannot go there, but I of the rich can go anywhere. Give me the names of all her friends and I'll question each and every one of them."

XXX

" I don't know. I guess I started going here after I went through rehab. I just felt so unwanted by my family and old friends I wanted to be with people who wouldn't judge me."

" Yeah. I came here because I needed money for drugs. "

" I'm not on drugs. But I have sexual desires I cannot control. Just sleeping around with people is a waste of time – I rather get paid when I do it."

" I have no money and children at home to support. With no steady income I was forced to become a prostitute to help them. Prostitution is the only way for me to take care of them."

" Yes! Yes! Yes!" Haru said in his therapy group. " Let it all out. No one is being judged here. I for one want to get married or go on one measly date. But now that I'm out of Afghanistan there's no one who wants to date me."

" Here he is," Azalea said as Ian and Emmitt came to retrieve Haru. " He's taken all my girls and he's not even touching or paying for any of them. He's wasting all my paying customers' time."

" Haru must be gay or metro, young master," Emmitt said.

" Never mind that. I'll pay for all your girls for the hour. Let the idiot have his fun."

" Should we take him to the ball with us, lord and master?"

" I'd rather he make a jackass of himself a ball of people I don't know than get us kicked out of this whore house."


	5. Chapter 5

Ian found parties to be tedious much like he found everything else to be. What was most tedium was finding a serial killer wearing a rabbit mask in a costume ball where six people were wearing a rabbit mask. Ian was with Emmitt as always. Emmitt was a zit on Ian's face that refused to pop. Or Emmitt was a huge shadow in a never-ending sunlight. There was just no way to separate them. And where was Haru? The second butler was standing near the punch bowl. He wasn't use to parties like these and when Haru was nervous he would drink. He didn't vary drinks. He would drink anything_—_apple juice, orange juice, lemondate, tomatoe juice, coca-cola_— _ and right now he was drinking punch. Ian wore a fruit hat for a costume; something that didn't look so sill yand was hardly noticeable, Emmitt was dressed in a ghost costume, and Haru was wearing a pirate costume. It looked adequate with his eye patch, but he had a real parrot on his shoulders.

" What do you see, young master?"

" I see men. One has erectile dysfunction. The other is thinking of fornicating someone in this room, and the third is_—_ "

" I mean about the investigation, master."

" Oh. I don't see anyone having a reason to attack in the middle of a ball. But whoever it is can strike at any moment."

Ian wondered if who he saw really wasn't a Grim Reaper. It was true that no ordinary human could jump so high. Only a Grim Reaper or demon could make such a jump. Ian kept wondering how it was possible when he heard a loud crash. Everyone else heard it. They feared it might be the serial coming back to kill another. It wasn't. Unless a serial killer was clumsy, dropped his glass of fruit punch when he was nervous, and tried making it up by waving his hands and fake laughing, than Haru was the killer.

" Bringing this fool was a hazard to the investigation," Emmitt whispered in Ian's right ear.

" I'll tell you what's a hazard. Dancing on ceramic floor tiles."

Ian would almost feel sorry for Haru if he wasn't so disappointed in him. Haru was not meant for a career in Phantomhive. He was just some poor twenty something year old boy, probably here trying to find a steady job where he'll have plenty of time to think about being a novelist. Maybe he could write books on how people should be treated with equal rights and capitalism like Karl Marx. But if he did write like Karl Marx, he would be the most hated and loved person of the twenty-first century. However, all Ian could see of Haru was a horny dog, persisted on intercourse, even with a woman in a red dress whom he had just met. There was a fifteen year age gap between those two; like she was born in a different generation. But Haru followed her around looking for that intercourse.

Mrs. Dahlia was wearing a white dress with snowflakes on them and plastic wings sticking out her back. She looked very angellike. Ian called her an angel, but she was really just a disease carrying whore with many unborn babies. If Ian would he'd take his stick and beat her with it until he straightened the wench out. But she was his client. He would have to leave beating for another time and just try to talk to her.

" Does anyone here make you coax?" He asked.

" Make me what?" She said.

" Coax. Make you want to flatter to do something. I've been looking at some of the abstract sculptures in this house. I think I might buy some of them off for my own little collection."

" Why would you leave this room. You're suppose to help me."

" I'm terribly sorry but I don't think you were listening. You hired me to investigate the person who killed your friend. I don't take jobs of guarding people. If more rich people and whores such as yourself were dead, then product rates would skyrocket for all my facilities. Men would stop wasting their money getting dirty whores to such them off when they could be using it to buy my refrigerators and fire safety."

" What if he comes when you're not here and kills me?"

" Then it's your own fault for not being near the crowd." Ian clapped his hands three times. Everyone stopped dancing and stared at the headmaster of Phantomhive. Emmitt crouched down like a dog as the little dwarf Ian climbed up his back and raised his arms. " Everyone. I have an announcement to make."

" _What's he going to do now_?" Dahlia thought.

" I would like us all to play a little game. The winner will be paid by me, in cash, ten thousand pounds."

" Ten thousand pounds," the guests said in unison. Some rubbed their heads while the others waved fans against their faces.

" Will we really win ten thousand pounds?" A man in the crowd said.

" It can't be," a woman in the crowd said.

Just to show he wasn't joking Ian took out his wallet and pulled ten thousand pounds out. " This can all be yours if you win. You will all line up to a table where we shall have a drinking compeitition. You will one by one drink with my butler Emmitt. The first one to make him pass out in drinking wins."

" Are you out of your mind?" A man in the crowd shouted. " There's only one of him! It will be easy!"

" If you have a question you should raise your hand," Ian said bluntly. " As I said before, you will all drink with my butler Emmitt. I will ask a question and whoever gets it right doesn't have to drink. And you will drink every last drop in your glass. If you have even a single drop before my next question, you will be thrown out of my game."

" _This kid," _Dahila thought. She could see the liquid red pour into small glasses as Emmitt passed them out on a trolley. " _Everything's just a game to him._"


End file.
